And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
