Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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