I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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