the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
