i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
