sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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