Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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