Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
