we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
