I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
