I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
