thus making me awesome and them whores
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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