i can't believe i had my finger in that
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
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Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
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Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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