the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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