Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
