Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
