i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
