the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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