Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I deserve this hangover.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize