I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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