that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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