Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
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Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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