but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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