I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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