nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
