is your mom at the bar?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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