btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
