...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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