Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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