i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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