i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
