i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
no you cant smoke seaweed
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she pinky promised me she was 18
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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