a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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