I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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