she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
