Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
