one might say we're banned from that church
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
