I wanna passion pit in your ass
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
