ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Pooping to opera.
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