I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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