This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize