If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
