She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
