She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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