youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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