The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
