he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
