Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
