The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
