The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
