We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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