Non-Jews are for practice
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
