Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
