Buhtt sex?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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