so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
