THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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