We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just want nice things and good sex
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
