God, you're like boner-b-gone
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
