Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
