dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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