So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
