I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
