Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
