so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
