Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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