Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
